Reply to Mr. Mahesh Murthy

So Mr. Mahesh Murthy, I read your note about Jiah Khan’s suicide and how the ‘poor Pancholi kid’ should not be blamed for the consequences that he most probably did not foresee. I’m in agreement with almost everything of what you said, however there was one issue that piqued my interest and hence this attempt at a reply.

That one issue I’m referring to is your trivialization of love.

“No one grows up with a right to be loved.” Does this include the right to love your own self? As I see it, loving yourself is a very important part of living a “full” life. And I do believe that we grow up with this right. I think there is a simple hierarchy of love that we all should understand and accept.

  1. Love yourself, for who you are and for having the opportunity of living this life.
  2. Love each other, as in all the people you encounter and subsequently become a part of your life.
  3. Love this world, for it is ours to treasure.

Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it?

“Perhaps the best thing we can do as individuals and parents is tell the kids around that marriage isn’t the ultimate goal.” Well then what is the ultimate goal? Voila, LOVE <3

“Life is compulsory. Marriage is an optional extra.” But..what about love?! Shouldn’t love be compulsory??

The social custom that u refer to, is a wedding, and I would like to point out that a wedding and marriage aren’t quite the same thing.

A wedding maybe,” just a social custom where a bunch of old people shower rice on your head and believe they’re giving you their permission (or direction, in some cases) to sleep with someone”, but a marriage is supposed to be the union of two souls which lasts unto eternity, well at least that’s what our mythology and religious scriptures would like us to believe. In the present world however, I will have to agree with you regarding the impermanence of relationships/love. However, this isn’t sufficient reason for abandoning love altogether!

I believe that marriage as a concept has been glorified through the centuries for a very specific reason. To make us understand about the importance of love, and about having a framework like family to support, cherish and nurture throughout our brief stint in this mortal world.

Having a successful career, working to make your dreams come true are a part of loving your own self and your ambitions. But, true selfless love towards another person and life in general, I believe, can actually give meaning to our existence. Maybe these are just ramblings of a hopeless romantic, but after reading your note I felt an eerie sense of loveless-ness that I thought should be addressed.

And finally, yes ”let’s stop glorifying suicide in the name of unrequited love“, But let’s not recommend a life void of love as well.

With Love,

Abishek A Ganesh

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